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credits

released January 15, 2011

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Beau Mansfield Norman, Oklahoma

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Track Name: Girl Don't Wanna Dance
The girl don't wanna dance with me no more
She don't want to waltz or polka across the floor
We've been monogamous for two straight years
So it's playin' on all of my favorite fears that
The girl don't wanna dance with me no more

And now girl says she never even wanted to dance with me
In fact, she said it makes her uncomfortable specifically
Don't matter if it's Zappa or good ol' Lou Reed
Something inside her just ain't bein' freed
'Cause the girl says she never even wanted to dance with me

The girl says she don't wanna inadvertently entertain
All the people who will help me get famous, like I've been sayin'
Maybe I shouldn't be so upset
It's only incompatibility as yet
But the girl says she don't wanna inadvertantly entertain

Although the girl looks to me like sometimes she's in hell
The same could certainly be said of me as well
And though I've always tended to feel
That our love's about all that's left of what's real
The girl don't wanna dance
No, the girl don't wanna dance with me no more.
Not no more.
Track Name: Nearly Homeless
Nearly homeless for weeks at a time
Living on crumbs at the end of a dime
It's a sick way when every single day
You wake up wondering if the New York God has something to say

Of course he didn't, he never talks
Though here you've got Christian couples out on walks
Going through campus and on through the town
Are damned near wearing my resistance down
Track Name: The Pottymouth Song
&*#$ &^@%
Track Name: Shall I Go?
Shall I hie me to a cybercafe where the postmodern girls hang around all day with inscrutable bandannas tied around their heads and an issue with frappe?

Or let me sneak into a cocktail lounge, where in my pockets I will scrounge for change or courage of an earlier era, when I might have been said to be fairer.

Will I give up entirely on women, like the good ghost of Paul Goodman did?
Or will what Judge MackKinnon hid ever light the way?

Let me the canakin clink, indeed.
When I'm at port I get what I need.
Not Natalie Merchant nor hardly Sheryl Crow but a pint of IPA.
Track Name: In This Lifetime
This is the kind of girl you want for your very own
but you know it'll never happen in this lifetime
This is the kind of girl you'd kiss for four months without trying to feel up
In this lifetime
This is the kind of girl you don't even mind going to dumb movies with.
This is the kind of girl you wanna see if you can make it
at the ice cream, if there were an ice cream parlor
In this lifetime
I'd go to a football game without even being on acid,
that's how hot this girl is to me.
Track Name: I'm, pt.1
I'm fucking celibate
She's on medication
And I really gotta do the right thing here.
Woo hoo.
Track Name: Hooker
Gonna go to a hooker, fast as you can blink
I'm tired of feelin' this mashed-up heart every time I try to think
I'm gonna do somethin' about it right now, just as soon as I finish this drink

Gonna go to a hooker, I think it's just my style
I get sex, she gets money, we're gonna make each other smile
I've been saving up for five years running' and I'm ready to spend a pile

Gonna go to a hooker, who knows it might be fun
You know I didn't loose my virginity till I was way past 21
And I'd like to have some pleasure in this life before my precious time on Earth is done.
Track Name: The Man Club
He doesn't have to tell me that he already told you
whatever I said
'Cause I already know he's such a good little spy
That double crossing so-and-so, but listen:
Dude-Bro's out of the Man Club tonight
Track Name: Conservative Nightmare, pt.1
Oh, no, don't tell me!
Yeah, I walked into a conservative nightmare.

Things ain't goin' the way I'd have them
I got wounds and nothin' to salve them
And a tendency to blame the parts of society
As hard as it is to believe, are more unfortunate then me.
Track Name: Sunday Morning Glory
Here comes mister SUV on his way to the 8:30 service
He almost ran over some widows and orphans
Too much coffee has made him nervous

The big ol' mamas have all stayed home and a few of the thin ones too
They don't have time to dress up for worship
They got too much fucking work to do
You know that they do

Men in golf-wear talk on weeknights in a room off in the back
'Bout the latest Christian video on marriage that explains for them all of the things they lack
Up on the proverbial rack

In the youth rooms there's always the special kid who just never seems to quite fit in
The others tell him all about being Christian but they don't know exactly where to begin.
No, no... feel that ill wind commenceth to blow.

How much of it is business?
How much plain PR?
When Monday through Saturday you pray the congregation don't see the rust stains on your car?

Maybe I'm just a bitter old sinner who ain't gettin' enough good God.
But every day prayers are going unanswered
Seems a little odd.

Big ol' mamas makin' me pancakes.
Track Name: Granted
You never got to where you took the whole damn fair alive.
Originally it was a spur to me to survive.
You never held Brent Mydland down, put a gun to his head and made him self-inject.
You were an archetypal example of how to never leave a stone unchecked.
Some bad shit occasionally happened to you as well.
But of course you had it covered so's I couldn't ever tell.
Eventually a few of you seemed to suggest that you thought I had other things inside.
My dues are unpaid still, but you know that always will be till we all have died.
These days even I can be a little taciturn.
Looking back I wish I'd had the courage to share when you offered to burn.
I got fairies, witches, sluts and Dupree pleading every single side of my case.
But that still doesn't keep me from wondering if I know my place.
You were responsible for Katie Couric being on the nightly news.
And when you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose.
There may yet come a day when we can all go play outside.
And you may not throw my basketball over the neighbor's roof, killing my pride.
It ain't your fault that I very well may have nothing to say.
And I can't blame you if I don't think I'll ever properly sing "Touch of Grey".
Natural Light is so cheap you might almost say it's free.
I suppose, notwithstanding these clothes, you haven't quite been the death of me.
Track Name: Being the Boss
Going to these shows has been setting me back
Along with keeping the kids on track
And my wife is expensive, needless to say
Gotta earn enough to cover all the bills that I gotta pay

But you can take a vacation at the drop of a hat
Even if you gotta kinda be stealthy with that
It's crossing all the I's and dotting all the T's
And when the girls take their shirts off, take pictures in threes

My cost benefit outweighs conceivable loss
That's what's good about being the boss

Life 'round the house can sure get tense
but I'm a master of factoring in at my own expense
Generally things will go quite dandy when the whizzinator comes in handy

Ten grand red line on the LLC of a DBA between all y'all and me
Working out the wrinkles, smoothing the face
Trying my best to secure my place

Well sometimes it's time to have big fun
and I'm as big a fan of that as anyone
But sometimes it's time for putting shoulder to the wheel
And to sublimate all of those things that you really feel

My cost benefit outweighs conceivable loss
That's what's good about being the boss
Track Name: Nick, Don't Go To Morocco
You know I know that love's not merely physical
It also has components of the mystical
She blends those worlds so well
Her lusciousness just swells
And I know that she won't tell
I guess I might as well
But
Nick, don't go to Morocco
I'm still recovering from the last deba-co
Nick, don't go to Morocco
That country rhymes with taco
Track Name: Korean Store
Nacho Cheese Doritos at the Korean Store
Camel Filters and donuts
all this and more at the Korean Store

Beef jerky and bottle rockets at the Korean Store
Papers, screens and skin magazines
All the things you can't get no more at the Korean Store

Clientele looks so surreal at the Korean Store
Freaky people late at night, strange sights and neon lights at the Korean Store

Sun's comin' up and I'm comin' down at the Korean Store
Guy behind the counter don't look like the one that was there before at the Korean Store
Track Name: Married On Game Day
What kind of woman gets married on game day?
Seems a little controlling, that's all I'm trying to say
She wants to show that she makes all the decisions
and she wants everyone to know it from the start

His friends want to tell him, but they don't have the nerve
'Cause they know their women won't like it, if they try to stop it
What do you have to lose but joy, freedom, half your stuff and the respect of your peers?
It's not too late.
Think of the future.
When you were a kid, was this how you saw things playing out?
Track Name: Fast Food
When I woke up this morning
Fell off the couch with my boots on
Had a laugh at myself in the bathroom mirror, made me hungry so I smoked a little breakfast from the bong.

And I got a woman likes to run her mouth
She's the boss of every goddamn thing
When I ride off on the horse that I rode in on
She won't have nothin' left to bitch about but the rain

And all my friends are old and tired
and they don't get out much these days
Since I've lost my loyal fanbase
Makes it hard to get a gig that pays

You know it's plain to see that all I'll ever be
is working fast food
so baby, who cares?
Really pretty baby who cares?
Track Name: I've Outlived Brent
He was a kid from the suburbs, kind of like me
Got pretty far by any standard I can see
He played and sang his guts out every night
So when they call him a wimp it just doesn't seem right
And honey's sometimes bitter when fortune falls on you
But fortune keeping hidden's just as hard to make it through
And whatever problems I have, vicissitudes and such
I've outlived Brent, if not by much
Track Name: Wonderland
They don't even know how to start to know
They don't even have what they need to have
They don't even need what they need to need
But they love each other so much, it makes them sick

What kind of fantasy world are you living in?
How much magic will it take for you to come back from where you've been?
I wonder what wonderland you've been wandering 'round trying to find
You're looking for some ecstacy so you can leave the pain of your existence far behind

They're pretty as can be but they're all fucked up
Which just goes to show what it goes to show
They're paying a price I don't have to pay
Track Name: Conservative Nightmare, pt.2
Oh, no, don't tell me!
Yeah, I walked into a conservative nightmare...

Now they ain't in power at the moment
But they're still looking for shit to foment
And I'm starting to feel a little guilty about my relative life of crime
But if I can't live free it's just another way of doing time
Track Name: Expectations
Takes a mighty big man to love a fat girl who's in need
You could get to heaven based on one heroic deed
Might seem like you're settling for second best or third
But for the price of a Diet Coke and few kind words
You just might get laid
That's all I'm trying to say
Be a part of the solution

Some guys only like to smoke the very finest weed
But I'll smoke what I can get and disregard the seeds
A friend with weed is a friend indeed
Don't look that gift horse in the mouth, don't be so picky
Lowered expectations are made out to be a crime
But high is high and that's good enough for me

You could spend your life makin' money
Then one day they find you cold and dead and all alone
Just like a hobo, and that ain't funny
But what made you think that you were special anyway?
Track Name: Ellen
I know you'd probably say you don't much like the way that I've been living. That is, if there ever were any kind of reason to be giving me any attention. Don't know what it would be for. What would we talk about? I'd have to keep abreast of what's going on. If you decide to bring up current events... This is, right now, I'm a nobody. I'd be "walking in L.A." Although I'm not sure I would mind, like to see what I can find. But some people are saying that's not realistic. I shouldn't up and fly, just say goodbye to whatever it is I have learned from the biz of this town I grew up in. Wind comes sweeping down the plain. You know, I'm not particularly a fan of American Idol. Never watch it. And I don't even own a TV. Although I did play for George Huff once in a while. Though, why am I dropping names from that show to you? You're Ellen... But I was a fan of yours before you got your sitcom. At least I thought you were a goofy-assed tomboy, and in New York, that was kind of refreshing. But then again, there was the puppy episode... And I don't mean the one where you spent three grand on a dog that got repossessed by some **** away from those kids you gave little Iggy to... I mean, the other puppy episode... Me and my roommate, a woman twenty years older than me who I knew from the office where we worked, stayed home and watched it together. And I'm not ashamed to admit that that show brought us both to tears. I don't know whether you hate me for that, but here goes... And I felt that you were a friend of sorts, that I could count on. Have a little fun today, yeah, yeah... You know I've been playing the organ for the past eight years at the Christian Science church and some others too, right here in Norman, Oklahoma... And sometimes I wonder what you'd think of what I do there. Or how once upon a time I wrote a song that sounds like this: "Ever done a church gig?" sorry... I know you've said it's not only what's on the inside. And I know you're probably right... I also know I'm getting completely sick and tired of trying to measure up to standards I don't understand. And I'm probably just whining about the cruel ways of a superficial, anti-intellectual world. But, better a whiner than a player-hater, so I'm told... And I know I should probably step back a little. I know it's one thing when you do a sketch about talking to God. It's another when I'm singing a song about talking to you. Whatever the case is, as far as all that is concerned, I catch clips of you on YouTube and they bring me some lightness I might not otherwise have. Share a little love today...